The unexpected ‘consequences’ of Preschool

Or, rather, the unexpected “consequences” of not sending my kid to preschool.

Please let me preface this by saying, if you read my blog, whether you send your kid to preschool or not, I’m probably not talking about you (well, except in point #1…you’ll see). I have lots of friends, both in and out of the preschool world, that support what we’ve chosen and have validated me in our family’s decision to keep Hannah at home for now. These are the people who acknowledge the fact that every family is different and should therefore make their own decisions. And to you I say, thank you!

 

Back to my story :)

1. First, I was not expecting to be an anomaly.

John and his siblings did not go to preschool. My sister and I did not either. My mom even found a half-day kindergarten to send us to. I grew up honestly thinking that preschool was something that rich people’s kids did and that it was not at all the norm. Apparently I was wrong!

Most people that I currently know with kids similar in age to Hannah have their child(ren) in preschool. I can think of four families that I’m friends with who don’t, and two of those are homeschooling families, so naturally they wouldn’t go the preschool route.

This doesn’t really bother me, but it was just surprising.

 

2. Some people act like you are a bad mother.

I’ll be chatting with someone new and I can tell they are thinking, “ok, this gal seems pretty nice, seems to enjoy being a mom, etc…” and then we get to the fact that Hannah isn’t in preschool. And their whole demeanor changes. This has happened three times. No lie. They seem almost disappointed, as if they are suddenly finding out that I don’t love my kid so much after all and that’s such a shame because, darn it, they really thought I was a good mom.

They then mention that they care so much about their child they wouldn’t dare do what I’m doing. Passive aggressive much?

I can’t make this stuff up.

 

3. A few people have even insulted my intelligence.

As in, “Oh, wow, so you don’t really value education, then?” or “Ah, well, if you were smarter, you would understand why preschool is so important.” Both of those things have been said to me. About PRESCHOOL, people.

I’m a fairly intelligent person and a few years ago people would collectively gasp when I told them my occupation (gasp as in, ‘oooh, I was afraid of that subject in school’). I worked hard to get my degree and think that education is extremely important.

I value it so much that I am currently giving Hannah one on one attention about every subject that’s reasonable for a 3 yr old to know! If education is your only argument, you can’t tell me that 12:1 is better than 1:1.

 

Again, this is not everyone I know by any stretch of the imagination. But I have been surprised by how many acquaintances and family members have had these attitudes! It’s one thing to talk to me and explain (especially since I enjoy asking about it) why your family does it. It’s an entirely different thing to tell me I don’t love my kid or that I’m stupid!

Also, please know that I am not anti-preschool. I’ve even researched some local ones a while back when we were considering it. We just decided at this point, we don’t want to send Hannah, for various reasons. I had no idea I’d receive such responses. Because, as I said in point #1, I certainly didn’t set out to be different!

I hope I’ve said this well, because I truly don’t want to upset anyone. I have just been thinking about it a lot lately and I conversation with a friend earlier today (a good conversation!) got me pumped up about it again and I felt the need to express it in writing :)